The following day, we covered the anointing of the sick and the gift of counsel. Counsel is a tricky one for me. I have prayed to understand it, and I just haven’t. But I am beginning to see that this whole book has been written through the gift of counsel because these words, well, it is insane that they came out of me. But I think God has shown me that we all have something to teach each other through the experiences He has given us. It does not mean we are superior in any way, only that we have shared what we have learned with others to hopefully impact their lives in a positive way. The use of witchcraft against me almost destroyed me. It was the darkest period in my life, but oddly, also the most enlightening. It was a time when the Lord loved me so much that He allowed me to suffer, not only for myself, but so I could help others one day.
It is interesting how things sometimes just unfold before your eyes. I was at Mass the other day, and the priest gave a homily that fit perfectly with what I had been writing about earlier in the week. The following scripture is part of the gospel from that Mass: “On leaving the synagogue Jesus entered the house of Simon and Andrew with James and John. Simon’s mother-in-law lay sick with a fever. They immediately told him about her. He approached, grasped her hand, and helped her up. Then the fever left her and she waited on them” (Mark 1:29–31). What struck me most about Father’s homily was what he said at the end: “It is after she is healed that she begins to serve the others.” Yes! He is right. It has been years that I have been writing, and years that Jesus has been healing me, and now I know that it is time to go into the world and share what the Lord has shown me.
I have been struggling with the fact that this book focuses a great deal on suffering, and in all truth, I am a little concerned about how that will come across. But God reminded me that my story was born out of suffering. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, only that I do what I can to help others. When I was suffering from the attacks of witchcraft, no matter where I turned, there was no consolation, there were no answers. I was just completely lost and afraid. Knowing that other people are going through that right now, even at this very moment, rips my heart out. So I will write the words and pray that God will bring them to each person who needs to be loved, comforted, and encouraged, and also to those who are at their breaking point. Those who have recoiled so deeply into themselves that they can no longer bear it. I know your pain, and my prayer is that you will find peace and healing, just as I have. This did not happen overnight, though, I think because the process bids us to run to our Savior. It rids us of those earthly attachments that tie us to this world, and keep us from completely surrendering ourselves to God.
Through these sufferings, I have discovered that we learn a great deal in our weakest state because that is when we are vulnerable and the most open to God. When we come to see that we are unable to change our condition, that is when we cry out to the Lord for help. That is when we begin to surrender. Once we have come to know what God has done for us through our suffering, our openness to Him broadens because we now see the effects of the work that has been done in us. Now we begin to participate in this work in a whole new way. And with great fervor and humility, we approach Jesus with a more loving, obedient heart. Now the suffering seems to be more tolerable. That does not mean that it has ended, only that we are more equipped to bear it.
This brings me to the anointing of the sick. I think we are all on a continual path of healing because we are always being injured through sin, our sin, and the sins committed against us by others. We are imperfect beings, and so Jesus has given us different paths for healing, some of which include the Eucharist, confession, and the anointing of the sick. We know that we receive grace through the sacraments, and grace translates into strength and power. Many people receive the anointing of the sick because they are physically ill, but they receive no physical healing. Does that mean Jesus has forgotten them? No. It means He has given them the strength to endure their suffering and has deeply touched their spirit. I believe we will only see what Jesus has done for us in its fullness on the other side of this life.
I would like to remind you of my time in Medjugorje with Father Marko and ask you to recall when he anointed me and I slipped into that mystical heavenly place. Actually, I would like to ask you to reread that experience before moving on with this chapter. It will help put you in the right frame of mind I need you to be in now to continue.
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