This Place Shined With Beauty

Something happened when I was in the adoration chapel last week that I thought I would share. I was sitting in the back of the chapel with my eyes closed, as I usually do. Most often, all I see in my mind is blackness, but sometimes I also see colors. There are times when the blackness swirls around and forms an arc on the right side of my vision, eventually developing a complete circle that moves in a counterclockwise motion. The center of the circle is always different shades of black, while the edges change colors and become ragged or spiked and shoot outward, reminding me of the crown of thorns. At first, this circle is close to my vision, and then it moves further away. As this in-and-out motion continues, other colors begin to form. First, whitish-gray colors mix in with the black, and then purple and red slowly flood into the edges of the circle. As the colors change and the circle moves in what I know to be the wrong direction, the repetitive motion pulls me deeper into meditation. On this particular day, I had an interesting experience. It was new, which is always exciting.

As I sat in the chapel, lost in the colors, a room suddenly appeared in my vision. I only saw it for a moment, but it was so beautiful I could never forget it. I found myself in the back of the room looking forward. A tall rectangular window caught my gaze. It was only open about a quarter of the way. There was no handle, and the window opened toward the inside of the room rather than the outside. Its frame and windowpanes were fashioned of off-white distressed wood. The window was about 6 to 8 inches above the floor, which was silvery white and gold. The colors were individual specks or dots that shimmered at different times and speeds. They never stopped moving. A ray of light entered the room at an angle through the window, and the tip of the light rested on a portion of the floor. It looked like a sideways triangle. The silvery white gold material that made up the floor instantly sprang up to meet the light shining through the window. But only the parts of the floor that received the light sprang up. The rest just sparkled like glass. It was like the floor was alive. I was mesmerized watching the streams of light hang in the air. Then, the room disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. There were a few more images, and the circle returned. I came back to myself a short time later, instantly reflecting on the room that I saw. I had so much peace and joy. I knew it had to mean something.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears me calling and opens the door, I will enter his house and have supper with him, and he with me.”

Rev 3:20

I left the chapel intrigued by the beautifully intricate but strange details of this encounter with the Lord. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Driving home, I had a strong impression that I had been given a glimpse of my soul. It seemed such an assumption, but I don’t think so. The Lord had a purpose in this. He was trying to show me something. What occupied my thoughts the most was the window without a handle opening toward the inside of the room. That is not how windows open. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. If this was my soul, the window would have to open in. And it could only be opened by my desire for the Lord. No handle was necessary, only my love for God. And it is in that desire, that inviting, that we open the door, or in my case, the window of our souls.

“Lift up, O gates, your lintels; reach up, you ancient portals, that the king of glory may come in! Who is the king of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up, o gates, your lintels, reach up, you ancient portals, that the king of glory may come in! Who is the king of glory? The Lord of hosts; he is the king of glory.”

Psalm 27:7-10

The other thing that perplexed me was the window was only open a quarter of the way. Why wasn’t it open all the way? Maybe it is because of the type of window. But that can’t be right because nothing in this place was anything like the things of the world. This place shined with beauty because the Lord was there. Jesus was the One that illuminated this space. It was His light that animated the contents of this room. I can’t help but wonder how much more splendid it would have been if the window was fully open. Maybe I am overthinking it. Or maybe I have more to learn. The latter seems more likely. We have to make a home for Jesus within ourselves. We have to make a home for Jesus within ourselves. Christmas is the perfect time to invite Jesus in. Because He is the true gift of Christmas. He comes to us in all His glory. This tiny little Savior. Full of joy and hope, and worthy of all our love and praise. May we invite Him in this Christmas, and every day of the year, so He can shine His light in the deepest parts of our souls and transform us into He who is beauty Himself. Come, let us adore.

Have a Blessed Christmas.  

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